Thursday 12 February 2009

Help is available

you have my consent to using my story in publicity materials a nd resources. If it wasnt for welsh womens aid and an other womens aid organisation i know i wouldnt be the person that i am today. I hope my story helps in some way or gives the readers strength in getting through what they might be experiencing in their lives at the moment and for them to hang on in there, with whatever choices they decide, there is always light at the end of the tunnel,. even if you cannot see it right now. I was 17 when i met my partner, he was much older than me. Things were good for the first few years. When i had my daughter who is now 13 things changed. Looking back i couldnt see what was happening to me or things going on around me. I think to m yself at times,. i am the person that i am today , because of what i experienced and i became the strong assertive person that i am. Things took a turn for the worse after my second child was born, As we do, i put up with the abuse, violence, possesiveness my confidence and self esteem crumbled bit by bit until i hit rock bottom. The turning point was boxing day , 6 years ago now. Drunk as usual , he hit out at me, my youngest then nearly 5 saw him, and tried to protect me!. That was the day i got up , i was their mother i am the one that protects them! and left my life with this man behind!. I moved into a refuge , but in the same town as their father. I thought things would improve , but he would hound me , watch out for me , it go so bad that i made the decision to move far far away from my family and the place i grew up in, to a place i didnt know, or have any friends. Welsh womens Aid and other agencies helped me so much, i cannot thank them enough. After 5 months living in a refuge the three of us moved into our new home in yet another new town, Things were difficult, adapting to being in a new area, kids adapting to a new school yet again, and making new friends. At times i thought i cant do this anymore i just wanted to go home, yes and at times thought it might be easier to go back! but knew in my heart it wasnt what was right for me or my children. Womens aid were marvellous!! from supporting me with court cases to helping me with the children. Every day was a battle but i knew i could do it! believe in yourselves, dont let what you have gone through destroy the rest of your life? dont be a victim!!! Over the next couple of years i plucked up the courage with the help of womens aid - support groups, assertiveness classes, freedom programme, parenting puzzle, and eventually i did a womens aid volunteer training course which helped me enoromously with people and social skills again, to liking myself again and to realising nothing was my fault! three years on i am now engaged to be married to a wonderful wonderful man, we are in the process of building our own huose together, and own a successful business where we employ over 10 people. The children have settled down so well and are very happy! Thank you to welshwomens Aid for the support they gave me and my children and for all the people who are out there and experiencing domestic issues - dont give up on yourself!!!! talk to someone, there is help out there!