'This is my story' - this was given to me through Welsh Women's Aid

Hi This is my story. I would prefer to be anonymous. I haven't really been helped by your organisation as when I was being abused, I didnt really realise what was happening. I was diagnosed with Colitis when I was in my first year at Swansea Uni. I had been really sick and was rushed into hospital. I had been losing weight for weeks, but just put it down to my busy scgedule at uni but then i collapsed and my flatmates foned an ambulance. Anyway, I had to have pretty mjor surgery and doctors even thought they may have to take my bowel away. Luckily they didnt but I had some pretty nasty scars where I had abscesses and had to go to the doctors regularly to get them dressed. I felt ugly, and I was always conscious about meeting guys on nights out. My friends were really supportive and one of friends from my course invited me to a house party the were having. Thats where I met this man. He was my friend's housemate and, by all accounts, a pretty nice guy. He made an effort to talk to me and he made me laugh - which I hadnt done in a while. Anyway, we began seeeing mire and more of each other and eventually we strated dating. I realise now, That's when everyhting started to change. He didnt like me going out all night with my girlfriends and he used to make sure I was back by a certan time so he could come round and spend the night. It is only now that I realise that he was trying toc ontrol me. Then he started making snidey comments like he wished je was dating a chav "cos they put out" (I had made a point of not sleeping with him as I had been used by guys in the past). When we did eventually sleep toegther he belittled me and made me feel like I was disgusting. He said he didn't enjoy our sex and he tried to make me do things I didnt want to do. I got so upset one night that his housemate knocjed on the door cos he could hear me crying. The worst thing was when I had to go to the doctor for regualr blood tests and checkups - he used to refuse to come with me, even tho he knew i was petrified of the doctor - and he used to say that my illness wasn't a real illness and i was just making things up to get sypathy. I used to think he was joking but i realise niw he was wittling away at my self esteem. Anyway, the relationship ended pretty badly, 5 months later. And, although it wasnt me who ended it (I was pretty upset when he did cos it just made me feel even uglier than he had already made me!) I realise now what could have happened it i had stayed with him. I wanted to tell you my story so that you can use it to show other young girls in the same situation as me that, even they're not hitting you - it can still be domestic abuse and the best thing that anyone in that situation can do, is to leave! The syaing goes "sticks and stones ma break my bones but names will never hurt me". I disagree with this, the name calling can be just as bad as the hitting and the kicking - it eats you away from the inside and thats when things can sometimes feel as if its not worth it! Thank you for listening :)