Somebody who has been helped by Women's Aid

I was married for 16 years to my husband. at first it was fine although when I think now there were signs. he used to make suggestions to me such as choosing my clothes,how I had my hair cut and what I could eat. I was six stone for most of my marrage as he would comment on how fat and ugly I was . He would only allow me to eat one weetabix a day.

After being married for about six months he began to distance me from my family. He would tell me that they werent bothered with me and that they didnt phone although they left messages with him but he would never give them to me. He was very convincing and very good at making me belive whatever he said.

At first he just slapped me or pushed me but then gradually it became more punching, head butting and often would kick me down stairs or pull me by my hair down stairs. My two children often saw most of the violence as much as I tried to protect them. He also raped me on several occasions and this was done in front of my children.

My husband seemed to enjoy the power of control over me as he would often attack me infront of friends we had and over the years we lost many good friends as they found his behaviour unacceptable. And also if they were to try and stop him from hurting me he would become nasty and basicaly tell them to mind their own buisness.

One day I just could not take it any more and it was after he had headbutted me and knocked me out, I woke up in my local accident and emergency. I realised that if I did not get out of this now he was going to kill me. I got home and waited for him to fall asleep. I phoned the local police station and begged them to come, I told them briefly that I was being abused by my husband. Thank god they came out in no time. They took him in to the police station and I pressed charges against him as after the last headbutt I had nine stitches across my eye. He was charged with GBH and was given 100 hours community hours and fined £100. The police introduced me to the local Women's Aid. One of the women workers came to see me as I would not go out of my house. Women's Aid helped me to find a new area to move to with my children. I lived in refuge for a few months and I was then re housed. After much support and counselling through Women's Aid for myself and my children we are now slowly getting our lives back. although the experiences the three of us suffered will never go away each day it becomes a little easier for us as we become stronger. thanks to Women's Aid and the help and support of the local police I now have my life ahead of me and my children can now live without fear. I now live in a different part of the country and my husband has no idea were we live.