A woman in her late forties tells her story

I left my ex-partner of l9 years, a few days after he punched me in the back of the head, smashing stuff in the kitchen at the same time.
Police involved a few days later when I went to them - unfortunately CPS did not prosecute. I left my home in March 2008 due to my ex's deteriorating and escalating behaviours - i.e. he threw my new breakfast cereals into a black bag with dog excrement. Lots of my stuff was thrown away.

Ex became very frightening saying 'why I haven't murdered you I don't know' on a number of occasion - the details of which were given to the police who were brilliant. I sold my Rolex and got enough money from cash converters to leave home and I took as much of my clothes as I could and moved into a hotel, and put what I could into storage. I hid the money in my handbag so frightened was I that my ex would find it. Escalating extreme psychological abuse - so frightening that I felt sick all of the time. Doctor involved. Previous injury and necrotised muscle in leg shown to doctor (too late to do anything about the injury).
My ex's behaviour towards me deteriorated after I was persuaded to put him onto the Deeds on the property which I owned outright - having purchased it for cash (as the last house he lived with me in). Gradually the behaviour worsened so much so that I became very ill - ex tried to make out I was mad and once when I talked to police officers about what was going on and that he was trying to get to cash in my occupational pensions, he persuaded them that I was ill!
After I left, my ex first of all said that he had an authority to act to sell the house and that I was in hospital, comatosed and heavily sedated! Then my ex locked me out. Then my ex refused to sell the house and I had to push him into court to ensure that the proposed house sale went through. Then my ex prevented me seeing my dogs, owned by me. Then, my ex took my dogs allowing me only to see them if I went with him walking the dogs because they are 'big' and I may not be able to manage. Because of his threatening and frightening behaviour I can't see dogs with him accompanying me.
Since then voicemails telling me my exact address and that my ex knew the landlord (so much for moving somewhere I felt safe), so that I have had to move again. The police came to check my safety and to take another report. In recent weeks more voicemails and harassment and the police involved again. I have tried to be as reasonable as possible so that I get to see my dogs, but no matter how reasonable I am, my reasonableness has been rebuffed.
Since then, dogs are with ex - he refuses to allow me to see them - rather than being my dogs (which they are) they are now his dogs and access to them is refused according to a text message sent on his behalf by someone who knows how hurt I would be by the message.
I have letters confirming everything particularly when I discovered that my ex had been to the estate agents saying I was in hospital (the potential buyers of the house told me). My ex even went to his employer (I believe saying that we were in arrears with mortgage asking for a loan - and he paid his golf club membership - which I normally paid each year). I spent half of my occupational lump sum payment on buying a family car (for the dogs, paying of ex's car loan) only to find that my car, this car and a caravan previously purchased were all put into his name. I had all the debts in my name and he had all of the benefits from us living together in his.
Ex has been extremely aggressive and frightening when he has been in contact with me – one night he rang at ll.43pm – I did not know it was him at first – I was asleep. He was told not to contact me and not to be aggressive. I have only been in contact for the sake of my dogs. I don’t believe dog insurance has been taken out by him or that the dogs a frontlined to stop them getting flees. One was so frightened of him when he exploded one day at home, she went upstairs and wet herself.
All of the domestic abuse is apparently 'my fault' and that he blames me for his arrest despite what he had done.
I am bereft over having to leave my dogs - its my ex’s last piece of power and control really. Leaving your dogs is like leaving your children. Before I was locked out I returned to the house to leave some money for my ex and to make sure the dogs were ok – they had no water. Days after I went with my friend and had to get a ladder to make sure they were ok. I wish to this day that I had taken my dogs with me – anywhere just so that they and I were together. I am currently going to be seeking the advice of the RSPCA to find out whether my dogs are being looked after and to make sure that their veterinary attention is being done properly.
My weight has dropped 2 stone in 6-months. I have tried to keep civil for the sake of eventually seeing my dogs and being able to take them out - this has all been refused by ex.
I have started working again even though I officially retired last year - my ex spending at least half of the money - on benefitting himself and a holiday to boot – which I paid for – like all of the other holidays over many years. All of the credit cards were in my name – nothing in his – not even gas or electricity or the Council tax.
I am a very well know practitioner in the field of women's rights. My daughter, her husband and grandchildren visited during their school holidays and my ex pushed me in front of my grandchildren.
I also know now that if I had spotted earlier on how much my ex’s behaviour had deteriorated and that it was at both ends of the spectrum – you just couldn’t work out what he was going to do next, I would have acted completely differently. I wish I had got the police in the night he punched me. Its just it was the final straw!
My daughter attended the police domestic abuse unit with me. My daughter would also be willing to be interviewed. It has been a nightmare trying to return to work and keep a job done with everything going on.